Book Review: Women Who Love Psychopaths
Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm by Sandra L. Brown, M.A. & Liane J. Leedom, M.D. Brown is the CEO of The Dangerous Relationships Insitute and Public Psychopathy Education Project. She has previously counseled psychopaths and now focuses on their victims. Leedom is a psychiatrist who was conned into marriage with a psychopath, so she has first hand knowledge of the psychopathic love relationship. Her ex husband, who was motivated to ”bring down a Doctor” is now in prison. Although this book focuses on women who have been involved with psychopathic men, it is also highly applicable to men who find themselves entangled in psychopathic relationships as well.
The book covers the relationship dynamics of how the psychopath lures and hooks his victim, the process of relationship pacing and overwhelming, and also how he manages to keep the victim on the hook. There is an in depth look at anxiety bonds in the victim, and also a good explanation of attachment versus bonding in the psychopath. The book also covers victim traits of the 75 women studied, and provides an overview of several of their “stories”. Particularly helpful to me was the various “slices” of victim experiences and comments throughout the book. You may think your own story sounds unbelievable or “crazy”, and you may feel that you had your mind twisted to where you believed some crazy sh*t that in retrospect you wonder how he did it or got you to believe it. There is one comment from a victim about finding her psychopath in bed with another woman. She speaks of how he later convinced her not that it didn’t mean anything, but that it never even happened–that she never saw him in bed with someone else. Now, to a person who has never been involved with a psychopath, that probably sounds ludicrous. But to another victim of a psychopath, who has also experienced the psychopaths manipulations and mind control techniques up close and personal, they will identify and completely understand, (and more importantly believe her story), even if they have not experienced that exact same situation. Because even if they have not caught their psychopath in bed with someone else, they have caught him doing equally outragous things that he later completely denied and convinced them he never did (often times even after admitting to the transgression). So I can assure you that if you read this book you will see that you are not alone. There are many people out there, people who are highly intelligent and well educated, who have experienced and been trapped in the mind f*ck of the psychopath. Brown and Leedom also point out the difficulty victims have finding effective help for their symptoms in the aftermath of the relationship due to the lack of trained professionals who understand the pathological love relationship between victim and psychopath, who really understand what it is like to be targeted by the psychopath, lured, conned, to live through the dichotomies, to be mind controlled by him. They say, “If there were ever a more tortured victim than the women who loved psychopaths, we have no idea who that would be.” And excellent book that is well worth the money.