Victims and Survivors of Psychopaths

from victim to survivor

“Sunshine’s” Comments to “Why Sex Binds”

with 10 comments

A poster using the handle of “Sunshine” made some comments on the page titled, “Why Sex Binds”.   After reading her description of her sexual relationship with an obviously dangerous man and her honesty in the effect it had on her, I felt her story should be brought up front for a post of its own.  I believe many who have been involved with a sociopath or psychopath can identify with Sunshine’s feelings.   Sunshine’s comments:  

So.. So true! I was once involved with a dangerous man in my late 20’s. 3 years of hell. He went to jail for 9 mos. Stalked, strangled and beat me too.  I know this may sound sick, but at the time the sex seemed out of this world even though I felt stressed and scared of spending time with him, the sex helped block out the fear (temporarily).

After he almost strangled me to death I finally woke up. 5 years later he almost strangled another girl to death to. She suffered the same injuries and his treatment of her was 20 times worse than mine. His abuse had escalated.

I went into hiding for a few years to shake him and it worked. I was truly convinced he might kill me.. I lost valuable time from my life as a result of hiding, but I am still alive and will never have sex with anyone again until I get to know them for a long long time 

P.S these nasty promiscuous guys will give you many strange bacterial infections too because they shack up with lots of people – you’re never the only one they have at any given time.

Before you have sex with someone, get to know them for a long while, because if all you got were bacterial infections – they are curable with antibiotics.. Aids and herpes and warts are not.  I was lucky and did not contract anything incurabale but developed many strange cervical and vaginal and throat infections during that relationship, sweats, muscle pain, joint pain and hot flashes too.   After lots of antibiotic treatment, I got my health back-and cured.. Thank god for that, I learned a hard lesson too (

These sociopaths are walking germ/disease factories.. Please.. Please watch out and beware! They will make you feel convinced you are the only one, but it’s never true, often you find out after all the damage has been done!

Written by victimsofpsychopaths

February 5, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Posted in Sex

Tagged with , , ,

10 Responses

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  1. Yes, all psychopaths are sluts. You cannot have truly safe sex with them — even if you use a condom. Condoms don’t help with the spread of warts and other external infections like crabs. Abstinence is the only option! Consider wearing multiple layers of undergarments, belts, button flies, the works with a psychopath in your life. They’re deadly in more ways than one!


    March 29, 2009 at 8:50 pm

  2. I lived with a psychopath in Seattle for three years. He used me like a vampire. His manipulation skills were really good and hidden by his quiet nature and physical beauty.

    He was selfish and determined, however he was also warmly affectionate and a great lover. He was always interested in his own future, not ours as a couple, and he walked out on me when I was extremely attached.
    I was constantly trying to bring him into “normal or moderate” behavior – he was set out for the extremes and joined a cult called school of the 4th way. He is now a “Raw Foodist and he & new woman have their own little cult following” She shaped his new identity, his new friends, and all their activities in the RF world. He latched onto her quickly….

    It took me 4 months to get him out of the 4th way cult – which was heavily into mind-control… This psychopath is a bit developmentally slow – and his mom committed suicide when he was 11, then he was raised by an aggressive alcoholic father. Heavy Damage.

    I am in my 3rd year of recovery., progress is slow but I am making progress. I have spent these 3 years without a man, Love relationship in my life. I live alone and sometimes it feels like solitary confinement and torture –

    and for the past 2 years he has been living with another woman – the first he met after me. I feel abandoned, even though he is sick. I wonder why he gets to have a good life while I am still in pain?

    I have spent the past year making new friends, and have found a good job in a new city. I hope to one day be finished with the HeartBreak.

    Any more comments – of encouragement?
    Thanks. AngelFace


    January 14, 2010 at 8:36 pm

  3. I was in a relationship with a psychopath and didn’t even notice it! I thought we were bf/gf, drinking buddies, fwb ect. “Whateva” he always said to me. He beat me in the begining of our relationship “because you made me drink”. He also bit me twice on my right forearm that night. Left me standing in a local bank parking lot at 2am in the morning. And I always paid, paid and paid. Paid for his large screen TV. Helped him out with gas/cig money. Provided a couch for him to crash after dragging him out of living in a crack den. Now he’s 39 and still living with Mommy and Step Dad after getting kicked out of his father’s house which he lived in for 3 1/2 years for not paying his rent of 150.00 and his room was a complete DUMP! He got me hooked on drinking and some certian drugs that I never would have imagined doing, but I did. WHY???? I’m a reasonably intelligent person with a college degree for God’s sake. I even lost my job at the nursing home we were both worked at becuase I was hanging around him. A week before he was fired for always showing up with bloodshot eyes, bloody noses and always asking to leave the job early or not showing up at all. I was in the middle of a divorce and was newly diagnosed with Bipolar I. It is so true that they pray on the weak and beaten down!! It took me 4 1/2 years of intense therapy, one in patient stay at a psych hospital, 2 weeks in a partial program at a local psych hospital, and almost losing the 2 most precious things in my life. My husband (yes he loved me enough to marry me twice) and my precious daughter. After the pain, tears, lost money, lost family and friends I’m proud to say Ive blocked his # from my cell. Unfortunately he called me drunk threatening me basiclly to keep my mouth shut about the newest conquest who was engaged to a friend of both of ours. They(of course) snuk around behind our friends back and he even bragged about it to me. So I told my friend it wasn’t his fault when she broke off the engagement to him becz there was a “third party involved too” Couple weeks ago I got a drunk call from his mothers phone. I let it go to VM. When I listened thats when he told me to (sum it up) keep my mouth shut. The next day my top of the stair entrance to my apt was kicked in. My therapist wants me to play the VM msg for the police and get a no contact order. She doesnt know who his Step Dad is! Well I hope I could help just one person from a psychopath. If you suspect he is RUN!!!! As it happens my Mother is also a psychopath with hoarding issues also. I live now for my husband, daughter and close family and friends.


    October 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm

  4. Psychopaths come in so many forms and are becoming more common than statistics are telling us. Seems to be running rampant and relationships are becoming impossible to form and keep since there are so many predators from broken homes with mommy or daddy abandonment issues -take all their anger out on anyone who is closest to them. They can also present as well liked and respected in your neighborhood while interacting and blending in with others, while harboring secrets of possible abusing past or present neighbors in some way, they are eager to make friends with everyone and be the center of attention sometimes just to be connected to those you know, so that as they plan your demise, your life will never be the same again when they are through with you. And when you take 3-10 off from relationships because you needed to heal, you can find yourself with another misfit that will make you miserable, then another and another..Then you make take another long break out of fear that there are just too many manipulating and decieving personalities, you will just have enough still wondering in the back of your mind if you will ever get this healthy relationship stuff right… If they are planning to leave you because they have run you down, and drained your health, time, life and resources; when you are at your lowest, because you feel like you’ve been under some sort of mind control, and you are usually a pretty strong, intuitive, logical person, but where it all went wrong is the moment you second guessed that feeling that something wasn’t right and kept trying to talk in circles and stress and strain and work to make things right, thinking everything is your fault and trying so hard to be better, they will purposely drive you to insanity because you become estranged from your friends, family etc, they will covertly start telling people bad things about you that are not real, so that if they do anything to nearly drive you crazy with rage because they have taken everything from your life and yet, people on the outside don’t understand the dynamics of being involved with these personality types.

    People don’t understand. That’s what drives the victim into a trance. They begin to realize over time, you
    can’t tell anyone. There is no help. The domestic violence organizations and police and the courts too are a joke! If you want to waste your time involving them, that’s fine, because that is what the psychopath wants, they like the drama and their 15 minutes of fame in a court room –Haha, sad, pathetic, yet very true. You will find that society (jurors are notorious for this-especially other women) will turn on you and show more empathy for the perpetrator, just like you once did, but the only difference is, they have not experienced the private mental control and mind games and pure hell that goes on with every second of communication exchange in a private space. The deliberately repeat something while you are telling them something or single out a word you used and make you focus on that and then both of you begin talking and arguing in exhausting angry and confusing circle and trying to leading an important point, they say something to throw you off over and over so that you will forget what your point was. You will feel a strange sensation of mental and physical exhaustion after what was supposed to be a simple conversation, that now has turned into 20 minutes of hostility and constant derailment of the subject at hand just to confuse you and knock you off balance. This goes on practically the majority of hours, minutes and seconds of time you spend connected to them whether near of from a distance, and the next step is now, you are suddenly walking on eggs shells everytime you anticipate more moments of your life dealing with them. Your body begins to feel tense all the time out of constant “fear”. Then you slowly can’t function, you no longer have the energy to do the most basic things that you once did with ease. Everything becomes a great big task.. You get very very very depressed. Society does not care. You want to find a job after possibly losing it as I hear many women mention, but your confidence, self esteem, sense of self worth is completely gone. Your not the same anymore, and just want to be the person you were before meeting numerous psychopaths back to back..

    Over time you will feel resentment toward others who could never understand the hell you went through. You choose to isolate, because suddenly although it sgainst your nature, things become more predictable and balanced in your environment! If you have not completely lost so much in your life as a result that you completely fall apart and break down, you develop steel skin over time and have no problem shutting yourself off from society unless you are in a the right place to deal with people. Such experiences make you awaken to higher sense of just how stupid and vulnerable we are, doesn’t matter if you went to Harvard or Yale, Middle/Working class or on Welfare, fat, skinny, white, black, green or blue..These creatures are at every level of society wreaking havoc on their sources of supply destroying very good quality fellow human beings, with no recourse of revenge because they are “protected” from their consequences. The will flaunt new lovers in your face, date someone you know or knew. Even live next door to you and start a new life presenting like a faithful honest family man in the community.. The psychopath you dated next door will warnn of this if you don’t do what he wants. He may tell you that if you leave, he will make your life a living hell. They will do it all right! That’s why don’t date seemingly charismatic neighbors who go out of their way to befriend everyone in the community because most times they have a well crafted dark and silent agenda. They are all about power and control, then destroy! All for nothing, senseless reasons to the victim, but it makes them high, they feel good when they have broken you down, make you lose your home, kids, jobs, pets – everything. Yet, the feds don’t regulate these pieces of shit running loose, making women into zombie wrecks thus giving society reason to think women are emotionally unstable beings, when they act out because they want to do what any reasonable human response would be and that is to somehow eliminate that threat from their life or the presence of the things they cherish or even others these unfortunate women may feel the need to protect.

    God forbid a woman take a mans life for years of threats, destruction and abuse. I can’t imagine how many good women are sitting in prison for this senseless stuff. We should be happy and consider these ladies who decided enough was enough. They are unknown heroes, because for every asshole they murdered, will be a few or several less who can continue to spread their seed and reproduce as well as damage more people along the way. Our societies are controlled by selfish pricks who don’t give a damn. We are training to obey the law and tell people. When you do that, you get victimized even more..Ladies if you ever need to make a devastating decision to do anything unthinkable, don’t say anything to anyone as horribly hard as it may be for some of you to do, just be dead silent, get your self in self-preservation mode, because, yes it feels like your living a very unreal life, but do what you feel you need to do wisely, no matter what it is, becase, never trust, people, the state, laws, rules whatever.. Everything will go against you contrary to the bs people tell you about speaking out. It’s all some sort of experimental trap to decieve people. Best of luck in whatever means you may need to use to eliminate and dispose of the those creatures, because society would rather let it escalate to an evening news murder story where you are dead instead of him. Not all cases end fatally but, don’t trust the system or anyone, and incase you do have people you can trust then blessings to you.. The world really sucks and I am sorry for all people suffering at the hands or any kind of Tyranny or dictator/controller/manipulator. Your life will be destroyed or delayed only for you to pic,k up the pieces all on your own. A true nightmare. Your mental scars will be very hard to over come, but be patient, gentle and good to yourself and try very hard to believe you can heal from the dark nasty secrets of life with abusers.. So sorry to anyone who has suffered great loss..


    October 21, 2011 at 2:12 am

  5. Woman who have Narcissistic mothers will meet many bad men. If you come from a dysfunctional family, please research sociopath, psychopath and narcissistic personality disorder and arm your self with knowledge. You will feel hurt after each bad encounter, but will exit much fast and time passes. You will be proud of yourself for learning how to trust your gifts of sensing and feeling. Remember, don’t enter relationships with too much emotion, use your mind, intuitive and common sense. If it does not seem right, you feel neglected, or mistreated in any way. Investigate those things and if you find more evidence that his actions are not beneficial and bring value to your life run. Do not pay for him, don’t let a guy crash at your house. Don’t date any kind of guy who can’t give more to you, so that you can offer him what you have in return and feel safe. Any man who does not invest in you by spending his time shower you with gifts and treats combined with his quality time with only you then run. He is not commited to you, selfish and just out for Ms. right now! You all deserve to be taken care of, I don’t care how independent women are supposed to be these days..Demand the best treatment, but be nice of course! A MAN will do such good things, but GUYS are just looking for supply – then move on and break your heart and if he is a Sociopath to add to it, you are in for a lot of heartache.. Run and don’t look back, I don’t care how cute, wealthy, well built etc,. There are more people on the planet and a man who seems to have great gifts and qualities, but has a bad disposition with women is not to be given a second chance.. Get out, so you will not be damaged and have to heal and recover for long periods of time, it’s both good and bad, the good part is you will be much wiser, but the bad is valuable time gone…


    October 21, 2011 at 2:33 am

  6. I don’t need to say anymore than what was already said but I didn’t understand why I was so attched to thie drug addict, 2 bit 63 year old mj dealer…but the whole idea of Traumatic Bonding set me straight…and when i finally saw his abuse and addiction and called him on both…he disappeared instantly…after 2 yeasrs of mind games and broken promises. His name is Steve Kelch from Philipsburg montana…and if you meet him in Bend, or Yakima..where he hangs out…RUN!!!


    July 10, 2013 at 10:20 pm

  7. Yes… and 63 year old Steve Kelch has herpes…and didn’t tell me until after we had sex for 6 months… but then he told me I should be honored…he lived with a woman on and off for 5 years and NEVER TOLD HER…She was LIVID when I called and told her.
    …all those great gifts and qualities….Herpes and Dishonesty are 2 of his greatest. I think he once tried to infect me but I was aware of his game.


    July 10, 2013 at 10:23 pm

  8. Mine want to have sex more after the split it was better than we ever had. But little did I know I was being played. After a few months go by she would imply sex then tell me I messed that up.or this one is my favorite one its the one that really Fucked me up for life. We would start to have sex and get going she say you like it baby Well to fucking bad im not your whore. .This body is not yours . God what your problem I told you NO OVER AND OVER.. THAT WAS SUCH JOY FOR ME. KILLED ME EVERY TIME SHE WOULD DO THAT. STILL HURTS ME. I have to go now feeling not so well.


    October 7, 2016 at 7:18 am

  9. Concerned about this Steve Kelch. He is renting a room in my home and I find him very odd to say the least. He has been very combative with me and spends all of his time on craigs list buying and selling stuff in his room, sneaking around the house and snooping in places he shoudnt be. Who is this guy? How can I contact you Wendy?


    December 27, 2016 at 2:53 pm

  10. Yes, psychopaths are chamelons, they give you exactly what they want especially sometimes during sex, they are like magic. The psychopath ex, during sex, charmed me. It felt perfect. He treated me absolutely perfectly when we had sex. At least physically. It was like he was the exact person I needed, he gave me exactly what I wanted and needed. He had me under a spell. Then when it was over he discarded me like I was a piece of plastic. Psychopaths will perform whatever act they want in order to manipulate you into falling under their trance so they can do the most unforgivable things to you without you leaving – you had that magical, nothing else ever felt like this before sex, he treated you like a princess – so that when he abuses you the rest of the time, and gets violent during ‘sex’, you still believe there is a “good” part of him, and you stay with him in part because of that. It is all an act. It is all a facade. The psychopath never loved you, probably was never even attracted to you – at least emotionally – and only put on the act so that he could mould you into a victim that would not be able to leave, and that he could have an easier time abusing. Psychopaths are not real people.


    February 18, 2020 at 8:25 am

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