Victims and Survivors of Psychopaths

from victim to survivor


with 10 comments

Victims can suffer re-victimization through family, friends, police, societal attitudes, health care workers, the media, and the criminal justice system.  A lack of adequate support can be damaging to the victim’s self worth and recovery process.  Family members, friends, and others can display a wide range of emotions and reactions after the victimization of a loved one.  Reactions are sometimes based on stereotypical ideas of what a “victim” is and what “victimization” entails.

Rape victims are sometimes questioned by family or friends as to what they were wearing at the time of the rape, as if she or her choice of attire was somehow responsible for a perpetrator choosing to commit a violent act against her.  Rape is not about sex, but power and control. If attire was a factor we would see a mass explosion of rapes at the beach where many women feel perfectly comfortable grocery shopping in their bikinis.  A male who is sexually assaulted or raped often is re-victimized as many in society do not “get it” that this can result in the same psychological damage to a male as to a female.  There has been recent media coverage of female adult teachers molesting young male students, yet these female perpetrators are often treated less harshly than a male perpetrator committing the same offense against a female student.  In addition, some people are less sympathetic to the male victim as they view it as a “rite of passage” in the male.  Even with statutory rape laws, although some states have language to include both male and female victims, there are some states that have language of “female” victim. 

Victims of non-violent white collar criminals, such a swindlers and con artists, are often re-victimized when they find the criminal justice system is reluctant to help them, considering them “legitimate victims” since they failed to carefully read contracts, or have a bogus contract, insist on loan guarantees, or trusted a person who turned out to be a romantic con artist who swindled them out of their money or possessions.  They are also sometimes re-victimized by family or friends insensitive remarks questioning how they could have allowed themselves to be duped or taken in to such a degree.  Yet the very actions of a con artist, whether a romantic con or one who is targeting other victims such as the elderly, is geared towards gaining the victims trust and confidence, then using manipulation and trickery to gain access to the victims assets.  It may not be a prosecutable offense, but it still results in victimization and has a psychological impact on the victim.

Some family members or friends may suffer from feelings of guilt because they feel they should have somehow been able to prevent or save the victim from harm.  Anger and resentment is another common reaction to victimization of a loved one and this anger is often directed at not only the perpetrator, but can also be directed towards society in general, the police, the criminal justice system, the media, and sometimes towards the victim themselves, as they feel the victim was somehow “asking” to be victimized or should have been able to do something to prevent it from happening. Placing blame on the victim only perpetuates the victimization.  But the most common reactions to victimization of a loved one is similar to the reactions the victim has:  sorrow, fear, confusion, a feeling of helplessness, depression, shock, or denial. 

When the victim has been romantically targeted by a psychopath, others may sincerely try to empathize with the victim, but as experts point out, most people really can’t understand what the victim has been through in a relationship with a psychopath unless they have been the victim of a psychopath themselves.  The depth and level of the mind f*ck of a without conscience psychopath is really indescribable.

As Sandra Brown, M.A. and Liane J. Leedom, M.D. said in Women Who Love Psychopaths:  Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm, a relationship with a psychopath is not like any other failed relationship, that it is simply impossible to not be harmed to a significant degree..      

Written by victimsofpsychopaths

January 24, 2009 at 3:03 pm

10 Responses

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  1. I’m seeking weblogs which all have fantastic guidance on what’s popular and specifically what the top rated makeup is.. eadekddebebf


    April 30, 2014 at 12:26 am

  2. I am finally realizing thru reading Artie’s likes yours that I am a target victim by witnessing than ritualistic abuse done to my boyfriend by his sadistic naricisstic mom! 1st 10 months he was wonderful & then I began seeing his mom rendering him in a fetal position or other forms of trauma administered by his mom too horrifying to imagine therefore, after he shrunk as if a beaten dog in fear, he made me question my own observation of what occurrd! I began to research his behavior & the more I gained knoedge ‘ informed him, I realize now that he’d tell his mom every intimate detail of him & I to his sadistic narcisstic mom who then kept him in some U disclosed location only to be returned home a totally different person with hands held above his head clasped sweaty as if in bondage but denying what I saw & telling me to LEAV his mom out of it!? He has no independent means of survival except wat his mom provides & remains isolated as if a POW & wears rags, used shoes & worked twice in a year oy to hand money to mom who got him a haircut? He worked 100 grueling hours with a thip replacement so that(wen I saw him), he limped & complained of EXCRUTIATing hip pain that he couldn’t bear yet would jump at mom’s demands to work with no pay! He walks or rides broken bikes that he finds or steals to beg (@a store for cigarettes) & wen I get someone to sponser him in a well paying Union job, he says he has to get a job with ppl more like him? He says he won’t be happy till he has money yet won’t take any of my offers for real work & less humiliating positions. He seems a slave & even cinderella attire brougt to him by mommy dearest! He isn’t permitted to eat any food unless it’s wat she brings him & plays solitaire all day & is always mad blaming his sister for withholding his money! The torture is happening more frequent & his isolation & misplaced anger is taken out on me. I can not bear go see himive the confabulated life & denying that his mom is anything but a loving caring mom. His speech is robotic as if rehearsed & every torture tactic I read bout is done to him!!! The ritual is now predictable -5 days mad after a day or more of him gone ‘missing’ then wen I see him his eyes flutter tightly shut & afraid of my caress yelling at me to go home! I can’t bear the sight & my imagination of his abuse any longer! I must stay away from him as I feel as thou I’m now a part of her victimization! She derives pleasure knowing that it pains me to witness the destructive nature of the traumatic bond she created in the relationship with her scalegoat son!

    Suzy jenet

    December 1, 2014 at 11:24 am

  3. I’m just getting out. This has been my reality far too long. I tried to leave before but lack of support, attitudes of police and hospital staff, drove me back. I pray I can get us out this time.

    Kori Kitts

    November 26, 2015 at 11:39 pm

  4. I am a victim of a pedophile ring being run by very high profile people, government, cia, fbi, celebrities, doctors, and more. My family and friends took part in drugging me to humiliate me on video, they were all paid money, the money was money that I was supposed to receive from a settlement that was being held by a law office, they forged my signature and had my brother pose as me to get the check.
    My story is very hard for people to believe because of the people involved.
    I am currently in need of help by anyone who has the courage to help me, I need to write my story so people know the truth, law enforcement framed me for things I didn’t do then threatened to put me away if i didn’t keep my mouth shut, they are now using the threat of placing me in a mental hospital if i don’t keep quiet.
    If somebody reading this will help me I will give all rights to my story if they help me, I will do something to make sure there is international attention on me at which time they will kill me, after which the person who helps me will have a story worth a lot of money. You can video tape me, place me on sodium pentothal and give me a lie detector so people will know my story is the truth.
    It’s a win win for whoever helps me.
    I have no chance of getting the truth out alone because of the people involved, I don’t mind dying for this, I am living in a nightmare every day, the only relief I get is if I have a dream that doesn’t turn into a nightmare which is rare.
    The people involved went to extreme length to make me look guilty including drugging me then making me do things on video that I would never do normally but because of the drug and torture that the cia did when I was a teenager they can make me do things when under the influence of the drug.
    I have been told I did things that were filmed which make me look like I am guilty of things I’m not guilty of, I have not seen the video but am sure it exist because I recall people telling me what to say while they were filming me.
    They made me think I was getting revenge on my family for what they did to me but what they were really doing is making it look like I was behind the illegal things they did.
    As a teenager, I was one of the kids used by the government for sex parties, drug drops, money laundering and more.
    The people involved are very well known high profile people, I will not name names here but you would all know every person I named. One of them is a female celebrity who is a psychopath, she wasn’t always that way but ended up this way after being drugged and tortured like I was only she was much younger at the time and I think is why she never had a chance to become normal again.
    I still love the girl but she was so messed up she spent her life trying to destroy my life because she was told lies about me, even after she found out the truth she chose to try and make me look bad so what she did to me didn’t make her look bad.
    I can’t help but remember her when she was like a daughter to me, a short time when she was a happy normal child. Then they came along and warped her mind destroyed my little angel turning her into a psychopath making her spend her life trying to destroy me, they succeeded in but I am still alive, to make sure the truth about what really happened is told, so the lies they told don’t end up being left behind as the truth. all I need is a little help from a good human being if there are any left in this world?

    Rob Scott

    December 6, 2016 at 1:06 am

  5. Rob, how would you be helped? Are you still in trouble?


    December 5, 2017 at 5:17 pm

  6. They are nothing but spawns of satan. They manipulate, con, betray, gaslight, hurt, deceive, annihilate, spit on, walk on, shit on, and repeat all of the above over and over again and enjoy every single second of the suffering they are causing until you run like hell and go completely NO COTACT.

    Teresa Jones

    August 30, 2018 at 1:25 am

  7. The best way to get your story out about psychopathic abuse in a way that others will understand is to write the events that happened as a chronology. Leave your emotions out of the chronology. This way the reader will be able to absorb the series of events the way you experienced the events. So to do a chronology you need to write it like a diary entry that’s a time line. Appropriate date , he said/ she said and she did/he did. The reader can then experience it the same way you did. They will come to the conclusion it’s an elite pedophile ring as they experienced it the same way.

    Eg: 12/12/19
    We had drinks ect
    I woke up dazed and confused next to (insert name) I had no recollection of last nights party. This person gave me a version of events I don’t remember saying I participated in sexual activity.

    This way the reader can see the high chance you were drugged. And can see the sequence of events that leads it to appear that way from your perspective in chronological order.

    When you say something like “an elite pedophile ring with celebrities drugged me ect” people tend to think you’re crazy. I learned the hardway. It was a judge who explained to me how to write a chronology and I suggest every victim of psychopathic abuse write a chronology as it’s the only way anyone can understand what exactly it is you went through.


    January 15, 2020 at 4:48 am

  8. My ex boyfriend tried to kill me in June. He left me on the bathroom floor to die. I was discovered by mother who then called an ambulance. The judicial system has cared more about HIS RIGHTS than keeping me safe. They have failed to keep me safe from him, his friends, and their never ending harassment as revenge for getting him sent to prison. The local police will not do anything until the next time someone tries to harm me. There has to be something that I can do to hold my local judicial system accountable for not caring about the victims!!! I feel completely alone and outnumbered. No one has my back. The cops, the advocates, all they ever tell me is well he has the right. Right about my rights? He didn’t care about my rights when he tried to kill me. He didn’t care about my rights when he left me on my bathroom floor to die alone. But yet they continue to allow him and his friends to terrorize me without any consequence. I’m tired of living a nightmare and I do not know what else to do.


    April 3, 2020 at 6:21 pm

  9. In nsw in Australia the police force is very much the same. I once read an article on something called “detection avoidance in policing” that prevents serious crimes from ever making it to an investigation even. And I know that that’s true because I personally know of 2 murderers without criminal records and my cries have fallen on deaf ears. Write a chronology document EVERYTHING and bring it to a lawyer or forensic psychologist. I’ve been called a crazy liar by police before.
    Our police system isn’t working, your not alone, lots of people who are suffering just like you. I try and retell my story and my flashbacks are so severe i re-enacts them and people think I’m bat shit crazy and blame drugs.


    April 5, 2020 at 7:34 am

  10. Are you in nsw?
    I’ll help you as much as I possibly can. If not keep communicating with me and I’ll advise you as best as I can.
    We need to focus on him dropping you as a target altogether first and foremost.
    God bless x


    April 5, 2020 at 7:42 am

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